‘Tis The Season

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

So here we are, deep in the Christmas period… to be fair, we approached it around October when all the sales were being announced. The hand-off between Halloween and Christmas has never been smoother lol. One minute there’s pumpkins and ghosts, next minute there’s baubles and mistletoe! The festive period has slightly lost its appeal on me over the years if I’m honest though. I used to get a buzz every time the Coca Cola or John Lewis ads came about but not too much anymore. Everything is so commercialised these days, all I see is Christmas Trees and Ice Rinks everywhere and Lord knows I don’t need to see another one of those. Last time I attempted ice-skating, my backside become well acquainted with the floor, the number of times I fell over. The amount of people laughing at me that day, it’s no wonder why Jesus wept. Regardless, with all the madness happening in the world right now, festive probably isn’t the word I’ll choose to describe settings.

Gift giving is the worst. I don’t need an invitation to buy myself something nice so when Christmas comes around, people are out of ideas of what to get me. I remember this cardigan I received one Christmas… the next day it went into retirement. That one had to get archived like an Insta post, no business being surfaced. It’s the thought that counts but purchasing me garments from Blue Inc suggests I’ve secretly offended you. Please don’t play with my emotions! On the 25th I’m unwrapping presents and on the 26th I’m repackaging and selling on eBay. And God forbid I receive another Lynx Shower Set too; that’s when you’re just not trying. Next time I received one of those, I’m gonna regift it back to them on their birthday; if you can be mad, I’ll be madder than mad. Saying that lol, I’m not exactly the best gift giver myself. For a Secret Santa some years back, I gave someone a onesie sized 16… was too small, *yikes*.

I like the fact that everyone gets a bit more relaxed around this time though. Work meetings are less about delegating to Joe cos it’ll be “great experience for him” and more about what we should do for our Christmas parties. I’m convinced companies cheap out on salaries just to fund the unlimited booze. I swear the amount of alcohol consumed will have your manager admitting what a sh*t job you’re actually doing. Have you ever tried drinking with an Irish guy before? That’s the last time I’ll be convinced to get “absolutely wankered lad” so it was no surprise when I had to ‘work from home’ the next day. I’ve also got loads of friends hosting festive parties and dinners as well. There’s no easy way to tell someone their Turkey tastes like haram cardboard so I tend to decline these events.

I like the fact that everyone gets a bit more relaxed around this time though. Work meetings are less about delegating to Joe cos it’ll be “great experience for him” and more about what we should do for our Christmas parties.

Don’t wanna come across as a Scrooge though, I like the sense of giving around December. Probably everyone making up for the other 11 months of being a d*ck. In London you’ll get evils for starting conversation on the Underground so at least there’s progress here. My Christmas present came early too cos’ Reggie N’ Bollie didn’t win X-Factor and as long as Raven-Symone doesn’t accept her invitation into 2016, it’ll probably be a decent year too. Anyways, my New Years Resolution this time around is to be more consistent with my blogging. Hopefully I’ll be more successful than you guys whose resolution was to sign up to a gym but ended up cancelling your membership two months later. Them Instagram gym selfies didn’t pop and gains lower than Northern Rock’s share price. Blogging is such a release for me; and having the ability to share my work with the masses is the only present I need. I don’t need gifts… I am the gift.

Joe