So funnily enough, I actually started writing this blog back in 2019! I was in the running for two roles and got a bit ahead on myself. Surely I was gonna get at least one of those roles right… wrong! Little did I know two would become none and this blog would be left on the sidelines like Mesut Özil. But after licking my wounds for a bit, I jumped back on the bandwagon and finally secured the role I was after, whoop whoop. I kept it real coy too; no social media post, no LinkedIn notification. If I never sat through the interviews, I would’ve probably had to convince myself that I got the role. Ever since someone reported my blogs to the police I knew I couldn’t overshare on this internet lol. The anonymous fool claimed that I threatened to blow up Canary Wharf… like sir… madam… what blog were you reading? Police concluded the questioning by asking if I had any enemies and apparently I do lol. Can’t have these trolls @‘ing my workplace on Twitter like “Joe Oriade’s blogs offended me, is this the type of employee you want working for your company?” Relaaaaax bro.
What they forget to tell you is that job hunting is a full-time job in itself, unpaid administrations work. I know some people be searching for new roles during work hours on their work laptop… working from home meant you don’t even have to be discreet about it. And considering how long a typical application takes to complete, you’ll need all the time available. Like who decided it was sensible to ask candidates to upload their CV… only to ask them to complete their past employment history? I’m convinced these applications are long as f*ck to test out your endurance and perseveration. And what pained me even more than the long a** applications was the quick a** rejections! I got rejected more times than your dad did before he settled with your mum. I got rejected Monday, 8:59 am, after I submitted my application on the weekend. I got rejected on bank holiday kmt. Who’s even working then? They used machine learning and artificial intelligence to scan my resume just to confirm that I wasn’t that guy pal.
And the rejections didn’t stop during the application phase neither, it’s the interview phase that’ll break you lol. I remember getting rejected at a final interview stage despite being a “strong candidate”. Even though the job description required someone who was process driven apparently, I was too process driven lol… you can’t make this up. I had another interviewer tell me that he thought I’d be bored in the role lol, says who? I guess that’s what happens when you add too much seasoning to your CV. Putting things on your CV that your boss was doing and claiming it as your own work lol. I know guys who’ve just outright lied on their CV and now they’re dealing with the consequences. Say they got good Excel skills but struggling to do a v-lookup. Or the guys who claim to work in a collaborative environment but come into work, earphones in, without greeting their colleagues. People be lying about speaking fluent Spanish then they’re rattled ‘cos their interviewer is from Madrid. Fernando walks in the room and they start talking about “bonjour” ‘cos they got their languages mixed up.
Say they got good Excel skills but struggling to do a v-lookup. Or the guys who claim to work in a collaborative environment but come into work, earphones in, without greeting their colleagues.
Anyways, when it comes to job hunting, you only need the stars to align once. One moment you’ll be staring at the wall wondering why the pythagoras is not theoruming then next moment boom, you’re searching Amazon and pricing up items with a pay-check you’ve yet to receive. Drafting your two-line resignation email to your boss and dwelling over what meeting you’re gonna spring the news on them. All those hours sneaking to job interviews during your lunch break has finally paid off and that deadline you had due next Friday suddenly becomes a ‘them problem’. Especially during this difficult time where roles across the U.K. are so much more competitive, securing a new gig is just that more sweeter. Made sure to wait after the probation period was up before posting this blog though, had to secure the W before I start jotting things down. But I guess the old quote is true, “the harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it!”
Joe
Joe Oriade Blogs 