I still remember when my sister and I got to the venue. As we walked in, a swarm of people started handing us leaflets and asking us questions. We saw their judging eyes when we said we’d regularly attended a different denomination of Church up until now. We finally managed to negotiate our way into the main hall, ignoring the cash machine in the corner, and took our seats. Ten minutes past the start time, a group of sharply dressed men came out to a rapturous applause. They gave their speeches and the audience latched onto their every word, almost cult-like. They scoffed at the people who didn’t think like them and dismissed what they’d described as “faithless men”. The place seemed to be full of boastful guys and gossip-girls, but aren’t we meant to be an example to the rest of the world?
I’ve tried to avoid the whole religion discussion in my blogs but this has been eating away at me for a while. Churches are becoming like bookies nowadays, you can find about 10 or 15 of them planted in the same area. Although a church building is no longer a pre-requisite anymore; I’ve seen sermons being run from hotels, concert halls and even cinemas. Church service at 11:30 and you got Incredibles 2 at 13:45. The lack of venue doesn’t even bug me as such, it’s more the way these churches are run. Since when did getting people through the door become the main objective? Church-goers turning into mathematicians to work out how much tithe to pay yet the rest of the Bible scriptures are being neglected. God offered us the free gift of salvation yet the collection plate is on its third lap around the congregation.
And don’t get me started with these pastors too ‘cos the entry criteria is a mess. They memorise a couple lines of passages and now they’ve been accepted on the grad scheme. Every man and his dog can become a pastor nowadays, all they need is a Bible and a dream. Minus the part about money and “homosexuality is a sin”, what other messages do you preach? Stomping and shouting on stage like this is Step Up 2, relax bruddah! And apparently they all have the ability to perform miracles too. One swipe of the hand and the ‘holy spirit’ throws the whole congregation down to the ground. You have people Harlem Shaking on the floor, whilst that one aunty is speaking Parseltongue. You guys ain’t even realise your pastor was Magneto. The only person not affected is the cameraman filming it all cos’ he be wearing those anti-gravity boots.
Although a church building is no longer a pre-requisite anymore; I’ve seen sermons being run from hotels, concert halls and even cinemas. Church service at 11:30 and you got Incredibles 2 at 13:45.
The Bible says “beware of false prophets” because these lot are popping up like acne. Members of the congregation are suffering yet your pastor is telling you that’s God’s Plan, bro are you Drake? I remember seeing a vid of this pastor rocking up to the alter on a freckin’ segway like he was a Grime MC. He’ll probably start selling holy mixtapes after the service. Tells you the ‘holy spirit’ is in the room right before he passes round the collection plate. If you’re giving offering and they hear jingles instead of notes, they’ll say it’s because you lack faith. I’m tired of seeing people making a mockery of the church; each to their own of course but these phoney establishments are not a true reflection of how one should be run. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognise them (Matthew 7:18-20).
Joe
Joe Oriade Blogs 